Let It Gooo! Let It Gooo!
8 Things We're Leaving in 2017.
Courtesy of Lamika Young, co-host of The SafeWordSociety Podcast
“Has this year been trash for you, too?” was a resounding question for 2017.
Sure, there were highlights because...balance, but one could reasonably argue that the scale was tipped in favor of basura. No bueno. If you can’t relate, I’m happy for you - now excuse the rest of us as we crawl out of our holes and give this thing another whirl. I’m sounding off a crucial call to action. Let’s leave trash behind us. After a solid year of dumpster diving, I have decided that enough is enough! It’s time to start anew! Let’s get ourselves ready for a new chapter, and let’s do it together.
What we’re leaving behind:
1. Poor Self-Care.
Your back hurts? Your whole life hurts? See a professional, please.
Don’t have insurance? Public assistance awaits you.
Don’t qualify? Go to a public hospital.
You ain’t slept since when? Lie down.
Ashy feet? Shea butter is life.
You haven’t eaten a fruit or vegetable in like two weeks? Don’t drink enough water? Constipation is death.
We cannot let white supremacy have us thinking that we don’t deserve health, support, sanity, moisture, and regular bowel movements. Take care of your gotdamn self.
2. The Ballet Flat.
A flawless segue.
With the exception of actual ballet, I have yet to identify a situation during which said shoe is flattering. Unfortunately, I have been largely unsuccessful at making people get rid of them … probably because everyone has the right to wear what they want to wear (to each their own or whatever). I will be continuing this cause, but I’m taking another angle this year.
PSA: Ballet flats will give you plantar fasciitis. That’s right. Friends, this shoe is a public health concern. Don’t be self-destructive just let them go.
3. Passive Aggression.
I like riddles more than the average person, and still, nothing annoys me more than passive-aggressive hints. I’d much prefer that my conversations and Unsolved Mysteries have little to nothing in common. Please, for the love of healthy interactions, be direct. For many of us, prolonged exposure to huffing and puffing transforms irritation into apathy. Being unbothered is a very happy place, so by all means, continue with the silent treatment. I’ll be over here taking bets on how long it will take for you to actually say what’s on your mind.
4. The Gender Binary.
A toilet is a toilet, and a gender reveal party is a logical fallacy.
Trans people exist. Gender non-conforming people are real. Some of us wear lacy thongs and boxers in the same day and have no time for a masculine/feminine dichotomy. Upholding the gender binary erases people’s actual lives. It’s a line that serves no one and oppresses everyone. It’s time to occupy a space above and beyond the arbitrary. Ask me my pronouns, and I’ll ask you yours. Let’s get free.
5. That Dysfunctional Relationship.
Your friends don’t want to hear another word about the regularly occurring wackness of your situation(ship). Bae is tired of you complaining about your sorry ass friend from middle school. The amount of emotional labor it takes to repeatedly re-introduce yourself to your family is killing your spirit, right along with that job that gives you zero opportunity to self-actualize. Could your dysfunctional relationship be with you? Some bonds are meant to be broken. Enough is enough, there is much time to reclaim.
6. Breaking Your Word.
Oh, so you just gon’ say “I’ma do the thing” and then not do the thing? Interesting. Just know that when you break your word, it takes substantial effort to restore it. I once heard or saw... (just don’t quote me) that it takes 11 positive impressions to overcome a negative one. Who has time for that? Word of advice: only commit to the things that feel right, and you will be more likely to operate with integrity. Don’t be handing out your word all willy-nilly.
7. Those Underwear.
Whenever it’s laundry time, you always end up in a face-off with those underwear. You know, the ones you really hate? Usually too tight, with some combination of lint balls, split ends, and holes? The ones that immediately fill you with a mixture of disappointment, despair, and rage? None of your dreams have ever come true while wearing those drawers. Throw them away.
8. Hating On Yourself.
Many of us have whole rituals devoted to hating on ourselves. We stand in our mirrors on Saturday nights judging cellulite, play self-deprecating scripts on repeat in our heads, and scroll through our news feeds comparing ourselves to people we barely know. Listen. We can no longer dedicate space to denouncing our self-worth; this only prevents us from showing up in our fullest glory. Let’s throw away the standards. Each and every one of us is perfectly made, and we all deserve to forgive, heal, and love ourselves. No more self-loathing.